Sadly too many parents today make false allegations against another parent that have the effect of shutting a parent out of the life of a child.

'Its a horrible weapon', Justice David Collier when retiring from the bench.

The first thing an psychologically abused child needs to ask is did my absent parent do this terrible thing to my Aligned parent. Did they actually see it happen ie did they see their mum or dad physically strike the other parent or if they think hard enough it was based on what the aligned parent or their supporters told them. Remember that the supporters may only be repeating what the Aligned parent told them. Sometimes with the effluxation of time things become blurred and it is hard to remember. Sometimes people remember seeing things that they did not see because the thought and image was falsely planted into their mind. This is very easy to do especially with young children who are easily influenced.

With the acrimony and high stakes generated by the adversarial Family Court system it is not unsurprising that high numbers of false allegations are routinely made. Professor Tommy McKay did a study of 107 children in UK family law contact and residence cases and found that in 70 % of cases the allegations of physical and sexual abuse were deemed false and in 24 % of cases the allegation was unsubstantiated leaving a very small percentage of abuse cases upheld. It was noted that, 'that false allegations increase substantially as cases become more contentious'. Professor McKay was particularly concerned at the severe damage to the mental health of children who were involved in the false allegation process.

The recipe for implanting a false memory.

Dr Lorandos on suggestibility.

People tricked into believing they had a ride in a hot air balloon.


Memory like liberty is a fragile thing.

Perhaps the allegations against the absent parent are totally true. Perhaps the allegations against the absent parent are true but wildly exaggerated. So what. Maybe the absent parent was provoked. What bad things did the Aligned parent do to the absent parent. Which parent did the worst things ? Which parent is the better story teller ? Which parent is more skilled at bending the truth to get allies on side ? Does it matter. All we need to do is know that divorce brings out the worst in people and it is no reason to abandon a loving parent.

An example of a child that rejected a parent based on a false claim of financial abuse:

An example of a child that rejected a parent based on a false claim of violence:

Dr Julia Shaw (3 mins 30 sec) advises that it is not possible to remember events before 3 years of age.

A child of divorce that has bad memories of one of their parents needs as in the above example to go to counselling to help them establish whether or not their memories were of real events and give them therapy how to deal with it.

What happened to Mr Peabody's apples by Maddona.

Children of divorced parents need to connect with other children to find out what is normal and what is not. There are many groups of adult children on the internet to join up with. Here are some snippets of information from some young people whose parents divorced.

A telling case on the way the Family Court of Australia operates goes under the pseudonym Wang and Dennison. Essentially the Family Court assessed that the children's mother had turned the children away from the father by purposely implanting false memories in their mind that he had abused them. The Court assessed that the mothers use of false allegations about the father constituted emotional and psychological abuse of the girls. The Court used the rational that the abuse from the mother would diminnish if the children were kept away from the father so the court should cut all contact the children have with the father aside from letters for birthdays, Christmas and Easter.

A couple of relevant quotes include:

'the court can have little faith that the mother has any genuine willingness or capacity to facilitate and encourage the children’s relationship with the father' (para 73)

'I accept that the father would try to facilitate a relationship between the children and the mother' (para 74)

'He has pursued with grim unrelenting determination the opportunity to have a meaningful relationship with N and S' (para 76)

'The father demonstrates a better attitude to the responsibilities of parenthood than does the mother.' (para 78)

'The reconciliation, if it ever comes, will be years away and, most likely, not before each of them becomes financially and emotionally independent of the mother and can assess from a more remote perspective the dysfunctional and brutal elements of their childhood' (para 87)