This is a saying/mindset that ought to be wiped off the face of the earth insofar as it relates to parental relationships with children.

In the following case when people would have heard that this father lost all contact with his children through the courts without reading the judgement many would have assumed that he was a terrible father. This was not the case as you can see by a few selected quotes.

FamCA1251 [2009]

'The Court was satisfied that the allegations of physical and sexual violence made by the mother against the father were without foundation. The court was satisfied that the mother had purposefully conditioned the children to believe that they had been abused by the father. When they had not, and that she had done so in order to cut the father out of the lives of the children.' (para 3)

'He has pursued with grim unrelenting determination the opportunity to have a meaningful relationship with N and S' (para 76)

'The father demonstrates a better attitude to the responsibilities of parenthood than does the mother.' (para 78)

'His commitment to the children, despite their alienation and the adversity he has suffered, is truly admirable. One can well understand why he would not give up on them.' (para 55)

If you want to learn more about the case feel free to follow the link and read it. More cases about the same family have been published on Austlii database.

There are lots of cases like these where most people only have enough information about the case to give them the impression that the absent parent was a bad parent which is not correct.