Really Bad




Dr Craig Childress explains attachment theory in reference to the work of Bowlby, 'Children who formed strong attachment bonds to parents received parental protection from predators, and their genes for forming strong attachment bonds to parents increased in the collective gene pool. Children who did not form strong attachment bonds to parents were eaten by predators at higher rates. Their genes for forming weak, or even moderate, attachment bonds to parents decreased in the collective gene pool.'

This explains why even the most severely beaten, injured and neglected children do not want to leave their abusive parents when social workers come to rescue them. This also explains why this young adult still has a good relationship with his father who tried to kill him:


Traditional cultures and religions have rules to help us as a society, one that most have is a rule to respect your father and mother.

A process sometimes referred to as Parentification occurs when one person (usually a parent) imposes a shared delusion upon a child that one parent has damaged or is likely to damage their current caregiver. The child has much empathy with the aligned person (usually parent) and the parent child relationship is reversed. The child is said to be in an enmeshed relationship and a cross generational coalition with the aligned parent. This new team ensures that the rejected parent is ejected from the life of the child in what is known as an emotional cut-off. This is a severe form of psychological manipulation to impose on a child.

Parental Alienation Hurts

Aimee's Christmas 2014 message

26 % of children of separated parents in Australia see one parent less than once per year. This statistic is likely similar to many western countries with modern No Fault Divorce laws. Unfortunately during a divorce one or both parents sometimes share details of their divorce with their children. With the stress caused to parents by the modern adversarial divorce process this is very difficult to completely avoid. Some parents make a few minor slip ups but still foster the relationship of the child with the other parent. Some parents however suffer psychological trauma out of their divorce from which they do not recover. These parents find it impossible not to constantly share the details of their divorce to their children and their negative feelings of the other parent. Children can cope with small amounts of this negativity about the other parent however if it continues for a long time the psychological effect on them is devastating. These children go on to reject their absent parent and don't want to have anything to do with them. One parent the Aligned parent is revered as if they are saintly and the other parent known as the Target Parent is scorned as if they were demonic. This is known as psychological splitting. The effect of this is likely to be life long.

Anthony Douglas, chief executive of the UK Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service ( Cafcass), warned against the danger of "parental alienation". He said the deliberate manipulation of a child by one parent against the other has become so common in family breakdowns that it should be dealt with like any other form of neglect or child abuse.

These children are easy to spot:

-they have NIL contact with their absent parent or that parent's other family such as grand parents;

-they don't refer to their absent parent with a parent respectful name like mum or dad but refer to them in a disrespectful way such as by their first name;

-they don't send Fathers/Mothers Day cards, birthday cards or Christmas cards to the absent parent;

-parents fought for years over them for custody in the Family Court;

-if questioned why don't they have a relationship with the other parent they will find it difficult to explain themselves or state that it is because the other parent did something very bad to the parent they are aligned with;

-they act overly protective of the parent they are aligned with.